Terms of Use & Disclaimer

By accessing this website, you agree to the following terms. If you do not agree, please leave immediately and reflect on your life choices.

1. Nature of This Project

D’s Nutz is:

  • A parody

  • A satirical media project

  • A joke

  • A commentary on crypto culture

It is not:

  • An investment

  • A financial product

  • A security

  • A promise

  • A roadmap

  • A plan

  • A solution to anything

Any resemblance to seriousness is accidental and should be ignored.

2. No Financial Advice

Nothing on this website constitutes:

  • Financial advice

  • Investment advice

  • Legal advice

  • Tax advice

  • Life advice

  • Advice of any kind

If you are making decisions based on this website, please stop and consult:

  • A professional

  • A trusted adult

  • Literally anyone else

3. No Offer or Solicitation

Nothing on this website is:

  • An offer to sell

  • A solicitation to buy

  • A recommendation

  • A suggestion

  • A wink

  • A nudge

Any digital tokens referenced exist independently of this website and are presented solely for informational and satirical purposes.

4. Assumption of Risk

If you choose to interact with blockchain technology, you do so at your own risk.

Risks include, but are not limited to:

  • Financial loss

  • Confusion

  • Regret

  • Having to explain this website to someone you respect

We are not responsible for outcomes resulting from your decisions.

5. Intellectual Property

All content on this site — including text, visuals, jokes, raccoon lore, acorns, and nut-based humor — is owned by D’s Nutz or used under parody and fair-use principles.

You may:

  • Share it

  • Quote it

  • Laugh at it

You may not:

  • Misrepresent it

  • Claim it promises anything

  • Use it to sell seriousness

6. Third-Party Links

This site may link to third-party websites.

We do not endorse, control, or understand those sites.

Click at your own risk.

7. Limitation of Liability

To the maximum extent permitted by law, D’s Nutz disclaims all liability for:

  • Losses

  • Damages

  • Missed opportunities

  • Bad decisions

  • Printer toner depletion

  • Emotional distress caused by raccoons

If something goes wrong, it is not our fault.

8. Jurisdiction

This website exists on the internet, which is lawless, confusing, and mostly vibes.

Any disputes arising from this site shall be governed by applicable laws where such things are unavoidable.

9. Changes to These Terms

We may update these terms at any time.

Continued use of the site constitutes acceptance of the updated terms.

Final Disclaimer (Read This One)

This project offers no rights, no guarantees, no promises, and no expectations.

It exists to mock hype, not generate it.

If you are laughing, you understand.
If you are confused, that is expected.
If you are taking this seriously, please stop.

Managed operationally by three raccoons in a trench coat. Legally, this sentence means nothing.